This quote I read somewhere resonated strongly with me:

“What we give cannot be taken from us.”

We can give stuff, but the real giving is about enabling a long lasting positive change to the other person, to a group of people, and to society at large.

The beauty is you can start with just one person or one small cause. 

Giving something that money cannot buy is the most valuable gift we can give others. 

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Common perception: You burn out when you work too much, too longer. That’s a simple burn out. 

Reality: You also feel burned out when you ignore your inherent skills/gifts to do work in environments that are unfulfilling yet well paying. It stifles your creativity and creates a void inside. That’s a compound burn out. 

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When you are constantly distracted by digital devices, notifications and by your own fear of missing out, you are never fully present. 

When you try to focus on one thing, you feel like you are missing on countless other things happening on the internet. 

This means you are never able to experience, enjoy and engage with anything at all. 

Try NOT to be that person. 

#NotetoSelf

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“Ask and you shall get”, they say. Clarifying what you need to the world is an essential skill for success. 

Many years ago, I struggled with this. The fear of what others would think paralyzed me from asking for what I needed. I underplayed my potential, till the time I saw one of my other colleagues asking.

My colleague very clearly asked for the kind of responsibilities and associated salary increase he wanted. He did it with conviction about what he was asking for and what he will need to do in order to deserve it.

When I started to put forward my ask firmly and clearly, I found success and fulfilment of living to my potential. I got book offers because I asked. I got consulting opportunities because I reached out. I got new responsibilities at work when I asked for it. 

We often dread asking because it’s uncomfortable and there is a fear of rejection. We have to walk past that fear and ask anyway. 

That is how we get to what we truly want – whether it is a certain kind of behavior from others, a salary increase, a different kind of opportunity that we are seeking etc. 

So remember – you won’t get what you don’t ask for clearly. Your ability to ask is directly proportional to your courage and confidence in your own skill to make it happen. 

The truth is – every ask is also an offer. You are demonstrating willingness to do more, courage to showcase your value and conviction in your abilities to do it. 

Asking for something will sometimes result in a “No” – and that’s okay. Don’t let a few rejections of your ask discourage you from asking. The key is to learn from all the NO’s you encountered, so you can make your ask/offer clear. 

Asking is a great strategy for success. Ask so that you get what you are worth. 

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We avoid fear, and yet overcomign fear is exactly how we grow.

Yesterday, my wife was scheduled to visit a national television studio for recording her interview on nutrition and women’s health. She prepared for it with zeal but on the morning of the recording, she was fearful and anxious. 

I told her that having fear of maiden experiences means you are in the right direction. Situations you fear and yet overcome become stories you tell others with great enthusiasm. 

In that sense, fear is a compass that validates your direction. If you are not doing stuff that induces butterflies in your stomach, you are probably trodding a beaten path. Fear means you are doing something that most other people avoid. 

Our leaps of faith become stories that we fondly tell others.

No risk, no story.

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I need to read this today. Lots in the head, lots in the plan, lots in the making. 

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We think fuel burns the fire. Fuel is our ability to work hard tirelessly. 

But remember – fire does not happen without oxygen. Oxygen is our ability to stop. Take rest. Rejuvenate. 

The secret to doing interesting creative work is not to focus simply on more input. You have to factor rest, boredom, wandering, exploration and white space in whatever you do. 

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Life is like grains of sand that you hold in hand. If you squeeze it tightly, the grains will slip away. But if you open your palm and hold the gains, they stay. 

The secret to living a good life is to not squeeze it tightly. Not to remain eternally busy. Not to be fixated on the goals and outcomes. 

It is to do things slowly, do the right things. Focus on the process. Do things with a sense of calm. Do them well. Share it all along. 

When you relax, you make the most of it. And you get the most for it. 

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This I learned today. 

Small regrets of today can snowball into big regrets later in life. The little things you neglect today can compound into bigger problems later in life.

So, when you hit your bed and if you are feeling:

• I could have eaten cleaner today.
• I could have worked harder today.
• I could have been more kind with that person.
• I could have wasted less time today.
• I could have called that friend.
• (Add anything you are not happy about in your day)

These bed time regrets can snowball into deathbed regrets. 

Paying attention to these micro-regrets ensures that you go to bed each night knowing that you did your best in big buckets of your life. 

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Sometimes, action is the simplest thing you can do. Thought can complicate it. 

• Missing someone? Give them a call. 
• Want to meet someone? Invite them.
• don’t like something? Fix it. 
• Like/dislike something? Say it.
• Want something? Work towards it. 
• Love someone? Tell them.

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I once had a car accident. I was driving to office when a cow suddenly gallopped in front of me. I had to apply brakes and the car right behind me hit the hood. 

Applying brakes was not my fault. Not maintaining a safe distance and speed was his problem. Knowing this, I decided to approach the situation with calmness. 

The more the other person was agitated, the calmer I became. My calm confidence allowed the other person to understand what I was trying to tell him. He admitted to his mistake and we resolved an otherwise conflicting situation. 

This experience taught me one important lesson about life: Play it calm when things don’t go your way. Never ever react in anger. 

This helped me face some of the fiercest battles: from health emergencies  of loved ones to helping family members navigate through a messy financial crisis. Situations will happen – but you have a choice to react proactively or reactively.

When we make calm our highest purpose, we are able to see clearly.

Calmness breeds confidence.

Calmness solves more problems than anger ever will.

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The most essential life skill is doing one thing at a time with your full attention.

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Ask people who you trust for their advice because it opens up perspectives you may not have considered. 

However, your growth only happens when you learn to trust yourself – by listening to your intuition. 

A lot of my decisions in life were totally against the conventional advice that my wellwishers gave me.

Guess those were the only decisions that were game changing ones for me. 

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All growth and new learning comes from willingness to chart unfamiliar paths.

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If you keep doing the right things consistently, the right things will happen!

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It’s ironical that we want others to trust us while we constantly doubt our own selves!

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Transaction may be the starting point of being able to serve. But real service goes beyond the transaction to add something that cannot be measured or brought with money.What are those things you can add?

 

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Novelty of pursuit keeps creativity alive. 

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“Writing is hard for every last one of us… Coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig.” – Cheryl Strayed

True for writing. True for mining. True for almost everything else that feels hard.

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