5 Pointers For Effectively Dealing With Negative Feedback

In my career so far, I have seen number of confrontations arising out of a negative feedback that is shared honestly. Some people disagree (or take it personally) when a negative feedback is shared in performance appraisal. Others don’t like it when client points out areas of improvement. As humans, we crave for validation and negative feedback does just opposite to that. It hurts our ego and hence we tend to instantly react, respond and confront. Equally true is the fact that all our growth depends on what we learn out of negative feedback we get.

In a way, giving or getting negative feedback is an inevitable part of our work lives. You can be on the either side, but by following some simple thumb rules, you can make it a constructive exercise. Here is what I have learned so far:

When giving a negative feedback

• Share perspective: Share some background information and build the stage. Direct feedback can be misconstrued.
• Be sincere: Make sure that when you deliver the feedback, it is heard in the right earnest. Be polite and firm.
• Be factual: Share your feelings but do not forget facts. Be conclusive.
• Don’t sugarcoat: We are naturally not comfortable sharing negative feedback and hence we make it mild. Keep it straight.
• Make it constructive: by offering help, solution alternatives, facilitation or arranging for external help. A negative feedback should help them grow.

When receiving negative feedback

• Listen: to the words, the body language and all that is not spoken, but still said. Take it all in.
• Don’t react immediately: Reacting instantly is considered as ‘being defensive’ unless you have facts on hand. Even when you do that, be polite and firm. Take time to think, if needed.
• Ask questions (to understand, not to defend): Open ended questions help in understanding the perspective and getting to the root of the problem.
• Accept wherever apt: Do not hesitate in accepting wherever apt. Accepting your flaws is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Learn from the feedback: Treat every negative feedback as an opportunity to learn something. Make it constructive yourself, if the other person doesn’t.

Things to remember in both

• Be graceful: There is no substitute for grace at workplace. We all make mistakes, big and small. Key is to ensure that we maintain the decorum. Being firm doesn’t mean being rude.
• Be human: We are humans and we are sharing feedback with human. Seek to understand the other party, their views and concerns.

Have a FANTASTIC Friday!

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ALSO READ: On Constructive Criticism

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