You’ve really come a long way along the road to maturity if your mind today is not troubled by events of the past or fear of an uncertain future.

It may not be 100% possible, but the aspiration of achieving equanimity is a worthy one to pursue.

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This has to be one of the best definitions of success I have come across.

“To laugh often and much: To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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There is no fun in life and work if a clear future is charted for you with certainty. The joy is in finding your own unique path. 

Joseph Campbell rightly said, “If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”

But how do you carve your own path? By trying out stuff. By taking diversions. Investing in areas where your skills overlap. Making mistakes. Failing fast and often. Adapting and learning from it. It’s only when you try many things that you find a few that are worthwhile.

Tom Peters, who I had the privilege of speaking with once, said: Whoever tries the most stuff wins. 

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“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.” – Robin Williams

Be careful about who you choose to spend your time with!

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Don’t waste your words explaining things to someone who is:

a) Not capable of understanding 

b) Not willing to understand

That is a waste of your energy. If someone is not capable of understanding your point of view, you can still explain, teach, clarify and educate. 

But if someone is not willing to understand, that is a problem of intention.

Save yourself by not explaining.

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“I have to study” seems like a complain. It speaks of a compulsion.

“I get to study” seems like gratitude. That you get to study in a world where so many kids don’t have the privilege of going to a school. 

Replace “I have to…” with “I get to…” and your mindset about your work, family, health, relationships, money, experiences etc. will change. 

When you change your language, it shifts your perspective for better. 

With change in perspective, we think, do and feel different. 

It’s magical. 

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Here’s a profound quote that highlights the importance of listening with an open mind. 

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” – Mark Nepo

Like a windshield, our preconceived notions, beliefs and judgments can block the essence of what other person is trying to say.

When we listen with a closed mind, we absorb only what we think we should know

When we listen with an open mind, we absorb the essence of what other person is saying.

Next time you are in a conversation, listen intentionally. Listening is an art that builds our connection with others.  

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This is a timeless wisdom on how to handle situations involving anger in relationships. 

A rule that I have personally followed for so many year (and it has helped me immensely at work and in life) is this: “There can be only one person in the angry boat.”

Anger as a response to anger escalates conflict. Calm in the face of anger is a step forward in resolving it. 

Mahatma Gandhi got it right: “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

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I can tell this from my experience:

What you become eventually is a result books you read, stories you consume and people you meet. 

That’s because all of the above helps you broaden your awareness. 

Awareness helps us choose better.

Choices we make, end up making us. 

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There is a HUGE difference between deciding to do something and actually doing it. 

Consider this riddle:

5 frogs are sitting on a log of wood. 3 decide to jump. How many frogs remain?

Answer? 5, because 3 have only decided to jump. They have not actually jumped yet. 

A decision is only as valuable as your ability to act on it. 

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If you try to catch two monkeys at the same time, you’ll miss both.

If you are thinking about meeting a friend while studying, you are neither meeting the friend, nor studying. You are missing out on both.

Do one thing at a time, and do it well. Multi-tasking is a myth. 

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To get anything done, you have to follow-up with yourself or other people who are getting it done. 

Knowing what needs to be done (e.g. task lists) is a good start. But following up is the key to execution. It is the key to getting any job done.

Create tasks but revisit them end of each day. What is completed? What is pending? What will you do tomorrow to complete? Who can help you do it? What dependencies do you have?

This simple system of revisiting and following up with your own tasks persistently is a great way to keep yourself (and others) accountable.

That’s how we make progress. That’s how things get done. 

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As we grow, we tend to spend most of the time for Vitamin-M (Money). It’s necessary but not sufficient for living a good life. 

We need Vitamin-N (Nature) too. Each morning, get some sunlight. Walk barefoot on grass. Build hobbies that help you stay close to nature (e.g. photography or hiking). Sit in the balcony and hear birds chirping in the morning. Watch monsoon clouds passing by. Chase a good sunset. Plant a tree (or a sapling). Care for a pet. 

This becomes important in today’s world where natural spaces are being encroached by urban developments – and we are spending most of our time in curated spaces that has a lot of style but very little substance. 

Nature provides us with substance.

How about replacing or matching your “screen” time with “green time”?

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When we make a promise to someone else, we are more likely to keep it. 

But what about promises that we make to ourselves?

The easiest person to take for granted is your own self. We have a tendency to put our plans on a backseat the moment someone else out there starts expecting us to do something. We have been taught that it is selfish to prioritize ourselves. It’s not.

That needs to change, IF you want to chart your own unique path.

Because constantly working on expectations of others makes you mediocre. It’s important to serve others and while you are doing it, be selfless.

Greatness comes from working on YOUR own priorities. When you work on your own priorities (whether it’s your health, well being, projects, career etc), be selfish. That’s when you can bring your real self into the game. 

That’s when you differentiate. 

That’s how you thrive. 

P.S: This is as much a note to the self as much as a note to you.

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Stuck in something that you are not able to solve?

Take a break. Step away. Take a walk. Listen to your favorite song. Talk to someone about something different. Take a nap. 

When we step away to a place of calm, our sub-conscious mind builds perspective. It enables you to view the situation/problem through an different lens. 

That often leads to a breakthrough, a solution, a response. 

When in doubt, step out!

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“I am not good at that” is a language of victim. 

If it is your choice to not be good at something, say “It have chosen not to invest my time learning it.”

If you intend to get better at something you are not good at, you can say “I am not good at that yet.”

“Yet” changes everything. It changes your posture towards the possibility that you can be great someday. 

Using proactive language may make an impact on others, but more importantly, it changes the way you approach things. 

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Great Opportunities never knock the door or come with an announcement. When they come, they are hardly recognizable. 

That’s because they usually come dressed as “problems”. 

When we see problems as problems, we dread them. 

We we see problems as opportunities, we solve them. 

Next time you face a problem, ask, “Is this an opportunity in guise of a problem?”

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“Your enjoyment of travel is inversely proportional to the size of your luggage” – Kevin Kelly

I had to unlearn the habit of packing stuff that I would never use during the travel. I now pack the minimum I require to travel. 

In life as in travel, knowing how much you “really” need is everything.

We go through life with excess baggage of unnecessary emotions, thoughts, anxieties and dreams that are not truly ours. Then we feel burdened as we travel through our days.

Pack only as much as you need. Then enjoy the sojourn.  

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Choices that work for others may not work for you. 

Someone opts to learn Biology. Someone chooses Arts. Someone drops out to start a business. 

These are just “different” choices, not “right or wrong” choices. 

If people are unique, how can their choices be similar? What works for others may simply not work for you. 

Understanding this is a sign of maturity. 

Only then, you can play your unique game. Only then, you can truluy differentiate yourself. 

Yes?

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