Preserving your Mental Health

• Do not expect too much from others.
• Never say anything more than necessary.
• Be clear on what you are asking, or what is being asked from you.
• Never brag. Make your accomplishments visible and then let it do all the talking.
• NO is a complete sentence. Don’t be afraid to say it.
• Let go of your need to be perfect. Perfection is a journey, not an outcome.
• Different people will have different opinions. Sop trying to please everyone.
• Keep your emotions in check. They can overpower your intelligence and logic. 
• Know your boundaries in relationships. Don’t let others cross it.
• Don’t overthink things. It’s sometimes okay to let things be the way they are.
• “This too shall pass” is a powerful mantra. Works in good times to keep you humble. Works in bad times to kep you hopeful. 
• Accept criticism only from those people who you’d go to for seeking advice. 
• People don’t care as much as you think they do. That can be painful, but that can be equally liberating. 

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If you have read this blog so far, congratulations. You have gained INFORMATION.

If you have put even ONE idea from what you have read so far into PRACTICE, you will gain KNOWLEDGE about how it works. More importantly, KNOWLEDGE about your own self. 

When you start adapting your actions according to what you learned from doing, it makes your own life better. Now, you have acquired wisdom.

Therefore, here is my suggestion:

STOP READING THIS BLOG if you have not been able to put a single idea so far into practice. 

Real learning happens when you DO something about what you read and experience. 

Without DOING, all your reading is simply stuffing your mind with information. It is intellectual stimulation. 

That’s barely useful, right?

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Your words attract energy.

If you use toxic words, you will be surrounded with toxicity.

If you use kind words, you will attract kindness in your life. 

Before you speak, THINK: 

• T: Is it True
• H: Is it Helpful?
• I: Is it Inspiring?
• N: Is it Necessary?
• K: Is it Kind?

When what you speak isn’t any one of the above, the best expression is to choose silence. 

This does not mean you soften your language or be too submissive. This is not about being weak. 

Saying what is true requires firmness. Saying what is helpful may not always be platable. But you still say it with words that clarify your intent. Words that gets other person to think. Words that generate energy. 

When you consistently choose words using THINK acronym, you build trust of others. You solve problems. You build relationships. You become a better person yourself. 

Then, you attract the right energy. 

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Sometimes, we really want to do something but we cannot because we think we don’t have time. 

The rule of 90-90 comes in as a handy tool. 

Find out what you truly want to do or learn.

Spend first 90 minutes of the day doing it.

Do this without a break for 90 days.

You will see the change. 

P.S: For me, being creative is what I want to be. So I spend first 60-90 minutes of the day writing this blog, creating sketchnotes, reading a book and consuming ideas that are important to me. This habit has been a game changer for me. Give it a try!

P.P.S: 90 minutes may be too much if you are time constrained. Start with 20 minutes a day doing what you truly want to do. Increase it as you find momentum.

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You are what you attend to.

You are what you focus on.

If you don’t own your focus and attention you are a slave, a commodity, some ‘thing’ for others to use as they wish.

Make no mistake…

This is about your freedom and liberation to create your own life.

Own Yourself.

Own your ability to attend to your own life, to focus as you know you can.

Focus is freedom…

Source

At a time when most people spend hours on social media, they forget that they are the product being used by those companies. They hijack our most valuable resources – time and attention. 

Focus is freedom. Discipline is freedom.

You be mindful about your FOCUS, INPUT and PROCESS. OUTPUT takes care of itself eventually. 

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Stress at work doesn’t come from hard work.

Stress comes from complacence. It comes from not taking action on things that you can act on. 

It comes from ignoring things that we shouldn’t.

It comes from not investing in relationships. 

It comes from putting things off for some other day. 

So, next time you are stressed about something, take action. 

Discipline, action and consistency are an antidote to stress. 

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My dad was detected with heart condition but doctor mentioned that there is no emergency for surgery. We did not leave it to chance and chose to voluntarily get the surgery done.

It was a proactive decision. This choice allowed us to plan it meticulously and get mentally prepared. 

Had we not chosen, we would have left it to chance and let an emergency happen. Why bother when there is no immediate symptoms? Leaving things to chance is never a great strategy – especially when our health is concerned. Emergency situations lead to immense stress, especially when you could have anticipated it and managed it proactively. 

This applies to a lot of decisions that we don’t take because there is no pressing need for it right now. We don’t act because we can’t see the consequences. 

One thing is clear from my experience: Being able to CHOOSE > Leaving things to CHANCE. 

You can only leave things to a chance AFTER you have done everything you could have done. Then, those are circumstances you have to accept. 

Our ability to see things before they happen and manage them proactively through right choices is our super power as human beings. Animals don’t have that gift. We do. 

We need to make good use of it.

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I was in a meeting with an author whose book I was illustrating. 

He mentioned something so simple and yet profound, that it struck the chord with me.

He said we need 3 daily wins:

A Physical win – You can tick it for the day if you worked out. It could be anything from intense workout at gym to doing a spot jog or a brisk walk or taking stairs.

A Mental win: Tick it if you fed your mind through reading, writing, learning and creating something new. It could be as small as writing a small paragraph in your journal to reading a few pages of the book. It could be drawing a sketch or having an insightful conversation with your friends or family. 

A Spiritual win: Tick this if you spent time meditating, sitting still, observing your own thoughts, praying or reflecting about your own self. Just a few minutes of stillness provides much needed spiritual energy.  

The more we focus on winning in these three areas, however small the win is, the better we become. 

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Life is not a coin with just one side. There’s always other side of it that we need to pay attention to. 

• There is no reward if you are not willing to take risks. 
• There is no growth without pain. 
• There is no clarity in your action without clarity in your intention.
• There is no relationship in absence of trust. 
• There is no talent without discipline.
• There is no love without acceptance and commitment.
• There is no wealth without investment. (Yes, saving is not enough).
• There is no learning without reflecting on our thoughts, actions and behaviors.
• There is no education without an open and curious mind. 
• There is no creativity without imagination. Greatness and creativity are the outcomes of working on “What could be” rather than working on “what is”. 
• There is no self-esteem devoid of courage to stand up for what you truly believe in.
• There is no improvement without “trying” things out. 
• There is no success without any failure. 

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Consider this:

We often focus on big goals and high-effort activities to reach that goal. In the process, we underestimate the power of tiny actions when done consistently leading to big outcomes. 

A brisk walk for 20 minutes today is tiny. Done consistently each day for a year, it results in massive gain in health.

Investing a few hundred bucks each week feels tiny. But when you do that for 3 years consistently, the return amazes you.

Writing 100 words today might not feel significant. Writing 100 words each day for a year means you have a book in the making. 

Tiny actions compound to create big results IF they are done consistently and improved upon.

“Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.” – Jim Rohn

Even Math proves it:

Key questions to ponder upon:

• What areas in your life can benefit from improving just 1%?
• What does that 1% improvement looks like?
• Is that 1% smal enough to be sustainable?
• Are you committed to really improve?

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Life is too short to make all the mistakes yourself to be able to learn from them.

Therefore, carefully observe people around you, especially the ones who falter or take wrong decisions. Reflect on their mistakes, their decisions, their thinking patterns, their approach and their attitude. That awareness will educate you on how to avoid those mistakes. 

Our life becomes really simple even if we only know what NOT to do. 

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I can do all the administrative tasks of my business. That’s my ability.

But I outsource them to an accountant so that I can focus on my core business. That’s my choice. 

I can play a keyboard and a guitar. I learned it myself. I wanted do to more of it because I could. But at some point, I realized that I enjoy playing casually when I want to unwind. But I never aimed to be a music performer. So I can play music but I only play in leisure. Ability versus choice. 

Similarly, I can do a lot of other things. But that doesn’t mean I should do them all. Because that would mean spreading myself too thin. That would be attenuation of my energy, when what I really need is focus. 

To do more, you have to work on less (priorities).

So here’s my big lesson: Just because you can do something does not necessarily mean you should do it.

Exercise your choices wisely, for choices make up our lives.

“Don’t become a wandering generality. Be a meaningful specific.”― Zig Ziglar 

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You work and work for years and years, you’re always on the go
You never take a minute off, too busy makin’ dough
Someday you say, you’ll have your fun, when you’re a millionaire
Imagine all the fun you’ll have in your old rockin’ chair

Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think
Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink
The years go by, as quickly as a wink
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think

– Guy Lombardo, Enjoy Yourself, It’s Later Than You Think

I loved this poem because it serves as reminder  that:

• Life is too short to put off your dreams for later.
• Never take the time you have for granted.
• Making the most of time means spending it in making memories as much as in making money (that can help you make memories).
• Never postpone when you really want to speak to your friends and loved ones. We all exist in limited time capsule.
• Take time off regularly to recharge, reflect and make sense of it all.
• It is never too late to start something new. 
• There is no bigger waste than spending time on things that don’t matter (gossip, small talk, unproductive activities etc).

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There’s so much to know and so much to learn. 

And yet, we confine our selves to a limited set of knowledge that enables us to earn and pay our bills. That’s such a limited way of living a life that is unbound. 

With limited knowledge, we become prisoners of our own mind. 

My love for reading kicked in late in life. In fact, before internet, access to ideas was mainly through books and book access was limited.

It is only after 1998 that I started reading online. Internet brought out the keen learner in me. Through internet, I learned how to write. I learned how to code. I learned how to manage and lead teams. I learned how to sketchnote. I formed connections and relationships with people across the globe. The list is long.

Exposure precedes learning. To know that tremendous possibilities exists is the starting point of deciding what to focus your energies on.

So, get exposed to a variety of ideas. Read good books (they’re easily accessible now). Write down your thoughts. Meet diverse people. Have deep and wide conversations. Take notes. Expose your mind to diverse thoughts, perspectives and information. Go wide, when it comes to acquiring understanding.

As you read more, you will realize how interconnected everything is. That understanding and breadth enables you to see things, to notice gaps and find opportunities. With the breadth of understanding, you are likely to find resonance with other people across the globe.

We live in times when learning something is easier than ever before. It is not the resources that are scarce, it is our ability to step out of our mind and explore the world around us that is. 

Content follows intent. 

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When we set goals, we think about desirable outcomes. I want to score x%, I want to make Y$, I want to travel to Z destination. 

When we set anti-goals, we turn this process around. We think of undesirable outcomes and think of “anti-goals” as activities, systems and actions that will allow us to avoid those undesirable outcomes. 

Anti-goals and goals are two sides of the same coin. Your goals should be generative and protective as well. Anti-goals are protective in nature.

For example, your goal is to run a successful business that employs 100’s of people. That’s a worthy goal. But to do that, you need to avoid being sick, you need to avoid running out of money or make stupid investment decisions that drains your business away. Setting up systems and processes that don’t let you fail are as important as creating systems that enable you to succeed. 

Throughout my career, I have worked in processes where risks were assessed and mitigation actions were planned to avoid and manage those risks. Fortunately, I was also able to bring those principles to how I managed my career and finances. For instance, I never fell for get-rich-quick schemes where risk outweighs the benefits. I was always mindful about my investments balancing stable returns with volatile ones.

Setting up systems to achieve anti-goals over a long period of times ensures you don’t be stupid and lose out on your gains.  

Charlie Munger, the most famous investing partner of Warren Buffet got it right when he said,

It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.

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Albert Einstein famously said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” 

If you are not happy with how things are, ask the following questions:

• What am I not happy with?
• Why am I not happy with? 
• What do I expect should happen?
• Why is it not happening?
• What can I do differently so that it happens?

That last question can have answers about your process, your methods, your approach, your attitude, your ability to execute or your ability to collaborate with others. 

Depending on the problem you are trying to solve, the answers would vary. 

The real value is in asking the questions and striving to improve.

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They say, only dead people have no stress. Some degree of stress that comes with doing anything worthwhile is actually a friend that pushes you to be alert, do your best and deliver.

Stress only becomes chronic when it is continuous and unmanaged. 

Our job as aspirers is not to avoid stress or take decisions based on anticipated stress – that’s lazy thinking. 

Our job is to leverage stress, channel that energy and do the work that matters. 

The key to that is ability to manage stress regularly.

How do we do that?

• Sleep is #1 antidote to stress. A good night’s sleep provides us energy and fresh perspectives.
• Reframe stress as a friend and not a foe.
• Take micro-breaks – go for a walk, talk to someone, listen to a song, have a coffee, gaze at distant trees for 30 seconds. You get the point.
• Write down your thoughts, plans and tasks. Keeping it all in the head leads to stress.
• Be physically active and eat healthy. A fit body enables you to confront stress more effectively.
• Talk to others. Having people around you who can help you wade through choppy waters is vital.
• Set healthy boundaries. Say no to things, thoughts or people who wear you down.
• Act. Do the thing. Thinking too much creates anticipatory stress. Confront what is in front of you. Take action.
• Stay focused on the outcome you wish to achieve. Seeing big picture helps you put things in perspective.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

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The world is rarely interested in knowing whatever you did that was operational. “I created and presented weekly reports at the company” may be useful in a limited context but the value of that work is limited and short-lived. 

What the world is really interested in is:

• What did you create that’s worth talking about?
• How did you get to the point of creating that?
• What did you overcome?
• How did your creation make a difference to others?
• What’s your story?

Your job as a “learner” is to focus your energy on a purpose worth fighting for, create meaningful work that makes a difference to others over long period of time and solves a real problem that people are willing to pay for.

Is it easy? NO. Is it worthwhile and satisfying? Definitely.

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We live in a world where choices are abundant. Social media tools make EVERYTHING accessible to us on a 24×7 basis. The dopamine hit that we get from scrolling endlessly robs us of our agency and choice. When you scroll, you never know what the next reel or post will be. This exposure fills our minds and hearts with all kind of junk information that may be stimulating in the moment but have no long-term value. 

Scrolling can take up may other forms in the physical world. We can scroll through a mall and fill our closets with junk. We can scroll through social communities and fill our time with unproductive engagements.

You get the point.

The opposite of scroll is to SEEK. Seeking is a purposeful exploration. Seeking is proactive. Looking for something great to read on a specific topic that is aligned to your area of work? Doing research on the new ways to solve a problem? That’s seeking, and when you seek, your mind activates the filter on what’s useful to the purpose and what’s not.

Seeking can take many forms as well. You can seek right people, right conversations, right resonance, right resources, right events, right books, right opportunities etc. that help you move forward and learn something new each day.

Seek, don’t just scroll.

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