As I evolved, I realized a thing about success. 

That real success is not about “achieving” any one thing, but about balance between things that truly matter to you.

I have seen so many experienced and skilled people who take extreme decisions for their career growth (e.g. living away from kids and family).

Such unilateral chase and sacrifices for success are fine when you are a newbie. Struggle is a part of our life, and that’s what makes us stronger and smarter.

But as you mature and get more skilled, you should be able to choose. Your decisions should create a balance between all domains of your well-being – work, family, health, finance, relationships and other interests.

But what does balance look like? From my own experience, I can say that you have achieved balance when you:

• Work hard, but also take time to relax
• Are available to your family and kids to spend quality time
• Are able to reflect, think and care for the self
• Find time to nurture your other interests
• Find it easy to let go of things that don’t serve you well
• Are compassionate and kind, instead of being anxious or regretful
• Don’t have to “showcase” that you are successful to others (points to ego taking charge)
• Set your compass towards the inside (what do I want from life?) versus setting it outward (What will others think?)
• Know what is “enough”

 Success that comes at the cost of your health, family or relationships is a kind of failure that comes to you in disguise.  

19/366

When you do anything different and worthwhile, other people will rush to copy the form of your work. 

They see the outer layer of your work, notice patterns and try to emulate  the formula they have created in their mind.

However, the heart of your work is the substance you bring to it, the nuance of thought, the quality of care you put in your work. That cannot be copied. 

They cannot copy the attitude and service-orientation you bake in your work. 

They cannot copy your uniqueness.

Even when they can copy all else, they cannot copy your ability to innovate and be creative.

The key is to constantly create and recreate yourself to do the kind of work that others have to catch up on. 

17/366

Dont:

• Say yes when you really want to say no
• Add unnecessary stuff/priorities into your already busy day
• Let someone talk you out of your dreams
• Compare your unique self with others
• Accept what is not right
• Hold your thoughts when you really want to say the truth
• Allow other people to cross the boundaries you have for yourself
• Waste time convincing other people when their best interest is in not being convinced 
• Expect life to be fair with you always
• Try to change things or people you can’t
• Choose something just because everyone else is choosing it
• Focus too much on problems, when you can spend your energy in solving them 

16/366

Last weekend, we travelled to the White Desert of Kutch – white because it is a salt desert formed my evaporating sea water in the bay leaving salt crystals on the land. Walking on that surface felt like walking on another planet. The contrast between endless white crystalized land and clear blue sky was striking.

What was also striking was simplicity of rural people. We took a lunch break along the journey at a roadside restaurant.

We ordered our food and then came a pleasant, simple young boy with a smiling face who served us our food. It was not as much about the food he served (which was delicious) but also the way he treated us. It felt like someone from our family was feeding us with warmth and care. 

Taking orders and serving food was his “job”. Serving clients with an attitude of love and care was his “choice”.

Getting the job is easy, but developing an attitude of service to others takes a really long time.

People don’t remember what you did for them, but they never forget how you treated them – how you made them feel.

That boy at the restaurant did just that, and we can too.

15/366

If I look back, the moments of highest growth happened for me when I got into something I had no idea about. Taking up new jobs in a totally different area, starting hobbies anew, visiting different countries for the first time, meeting diverse people, giving my first TEDx talk, writing a book, building a business – none of these activities came with an instruction manual.

You had to learn as you go about doing it. 

Remember this: When the path ahead of you is clear, you are walking on a trodden path. You are following others.

But when the road ahead seems unclear and foggy, you have a real opportunity to create a new path. The one you can call your own.

We crave for certainty, but certainty is boring. There is no joy in knowing ahead what exactly will happen and how. When we chase certainty, what we really chase is mediocrity. 

Uncertainty keeps us alert and on the edge. Not knowing what to do keeps us alert and active. We are on our toes, learning as the situation unfolds and adapting our approach to it. 

So, if you face a situation when things are uncertain, embrace it. Choose uncertainty of uncharted paths, for that’s where real growth, opportunity and learning is. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. And if you don’t know what to do, there’s actually a chance of doing something new. As long as you know what you’re doing, nothing much of interest is going to happen.” – Philip Glass

14/366

If you want to grow a plant, quality of seed is just one variable. 

You need a fertile soil. You need manure. You need sunlight. You need water. In short, you need the right environment. 

Talent and mindset that you have is the seed. But you need the right context to plant yourself in (soil). You need coaching and mentoring (manure). You need right challenges (sunlight) where your talent can show up. You need resources (water) to learn and improve.

You need the right environment.

The good news is: You can choose and create your environment.

Suround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. Interact with them. Learn from them. Get the right mentors. Work with people who challenge you to become better. Read good books. Attend classes, webinars, events that expose you to learning opportunities.  

“Surround yourself with people where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.” – James Clear

It is all about our choices. Choices put us in an environment. Environment widens our perspectives and increases our chances to achieve what we want to achieve. 

We are a product of our environment. 

13/366

In my first ever job interview, someone told me, “We are selecting you because we believe you can do it.”

Those words got me started and I never looked back, because I worked really hard to prove them right. 

Words are energy. They can lift someone up or pull them down. Words create an expectation. Words allow us to create a picture of the world around us. Words can heal and they can hurt. 

Use them carefully – when speaking with others, but most importantly, when speaking with the self. 

When you are with others, listen carefully for the words they use and energy those words carry. Surround yourself with people whose words give you energy.

And then, Be someone whose words fills the room (and minds) with energy. 

Choose the right ones!

Update: I was reminded of this wonderful and award-winning Toastmasters talk on Power of Words by Mohammed Qahtani. MUST WATCH!

12/366

The neighbor is renovating his apartment next door. When noisy drilling machines started breaking tiles and walls, it was impossible to listen to anything, including the self. 

Noise unnerves me like nothing else and the cost of all the development around is noise pollution emanating from cars, traffic, construction and so on.

Then the noisy day turns into night and things become silent. Cars go back home to be parked, drilling machines are silent and people go to sleep. A sense of calm surrounds me and that’s when I am at my productive best. After all, you can’t be creative and thoughtful amidst cacophony of drilling machines. 

But there is other kind of noise that should, but doesn’t unnerve us – and that is the noise of unnecessary words and all the information that keeps getting bombarded at us on a 24x7x365 basis. Social media gives us endless things to consume. Online sources are constantly trying to educate and entertain. People around offering unsolicited advice and opinions. 

Being silent is then about distancing yourself, even if briefly each day, from these sources of noise. It is only when you disconnect from the outside, that you can truly connect inside. Only then, you can understand yourself, process thoughts, frame your own ideas, analyze problems you’re trying to solve, and understand people around you. During my corporate tenure, a personality test revealed to me what I already knew: For every hour I spent engaging with others, I needed an equal amount of time to replenish, reflect and make sense of it all.

Reflection time for me has always been sacred. Silence is a gift that energizes us to engage with the world with fullness and presence. Silence fosters reflection, new ideas and creativity.

DID YOU KNOW? The word “SILENT” is made up of same letters as “LISTEN” and “ENLIST”. It simply means we need to be SILENT to be able to deeply LISTEN to others so that we can ENLIST their wisdom and knowledge.

11/366

Can you steer a parked car? No, right?

When it comes to our tasks, priorities and choices, why do we then try to steer them in our “thinking”? Thinking about things and not doing anything about it is like steering a parked car. It takes you no where. 

Think only enough that gets you started. That first step is what fuels the next. Pick and option and go towards execution because starting is progress. And there is nothing more satisfying than making progress in the direction of our dreams. 

Want to run a marathon? Start with a short walk, before you increase the intensity and distance and then start running.

Wan’t to write a book? Start with one paragraph today, before you write that chapter and then more chapters.

You get the point. 

We crave for 100% clarity before starting anything but the reality is – 100% clarity is impossible when you are doing interesting and exciting things. You learn as you go, but for that, you need to go.

Key questions:

• What habits, goals or aspirations are you thinking about in your mind but not starting? 
• What are those few things that I wish I could do sooner?
• What is that first step you could take? E.g. Want to learn how to play guitar. First step: Inquire about online and offline classes I can join.

Take that first vital step and let the progress along the way guide your journey.

10/366

Setting goals is important. However, goals are temporary and short-lived. They change based on change in our situation, aspirations, life stage and circumstances.

Goals are simply milestones along the road. They come and go. 

What does not change is your mindset and attitude. Mindset is how you see the world around you. Mindset is about the journey not just about the milestones. 

Mindset is the lens through which you see the world. If you keep your mindset positive and learning oriented, you can go through the most difficult situations in life and still learn from them. It is about seeing the glass half full and having curiosity to understand situations and people. 

Attitude is what you do with what you see. Mindset instructs attitude and is reflected in your actions.

If your mindset is constrained, you will run away from problems because you see them in negative light.

If your mindset is abundant, you will stay with the problem, understand it and see it as an opportunity to learn and solve.  

Talent only opens the door for you. Greatness happens when talent meets right attitude. 

Here is an old video of Harsha Bhogle giving a talk at Ahmedabad Management Association, which underlines the relationship of talent and attitude so well.

9/366

This happens all around us: People try to keep up with what others are doing. This race to be compliant to the larger expectation is also called “the arms race phenomenon” – people will race towards getting the arms (just like countries do) that everyone else has. The “arms” here could be that fancy college degree, palatial house, that attractive SUV, social media followers etc. You get the point.  

When I behave a certain way just because everyone else seems to be doing it, I am participating in the “arms race”.

The best example of this is our education system. Knowing that IIT pass outs earn a higher starting salary, millions of students race towards availing expensive coaching. Same applies to getting into medicine and other seemingly lucrative career paths. Who benefits more – a few students who clear these hurdles or the expensive coaching institutions? 

In his 2015 New Yorker article titled “College Calculus”, John Cassidy writes,

If almost everybody has a college degree, getting one doesn’t differentiate you from the pack. To get the job you want, you might have to go to a fancy (and expensive) college, or get a higher degree. Education turns into an arms race, which primarily benefits the arms manufacturers—in this case, colleges and universities.

Rolf Dobelli offers excellent suggestion in his book “The Art of the Good Life”

“Try to find a field of activity not beset by the arms race… Retreat every so often from the field of battle and observe it from the above. Don’t fall victim to the madness… You will only find a good life when people aren’t fighting over it.”

Key questions to ask yourself:

• In what activities of my life am I trying to do something just because everyone else seems to be doing it?
• What can I do to escape the arms race so that I can truly work in areas I am truly passionate about?
• If I am in the arms race, does it truly align with my ambitions, my values and my inherent skills as a person?
• If I am in the arms race, how can I leverage my strengths to be in the top 10% bracket in the race?
• What can I do to find a niche where I can differentiate myself uniquely? (How can I start an arms race

Escaping the arms race is not same as being lazy or less hard working. It is about choosing a different path, not a conventional one. It is about applying what you learn rapidly (even when you are in a full time course) rather than waiting for education to get over. 

The real education is in doing the stuff and learn by doing.

8/366

Best things cannot be bought, they come from within.

You can buy bestselling books or work hard to get into ivy league institutions hoping to learn, but passion to learn cannot be bought, it comes from within.

You can buy an expensive house, but contentment comes from within. 

You can socialise and make many friends, but resonance with others comes from within.

You can earn as much as you wish to, but the feeling of “enough” comes from within.

You can listen to a movitational speaker, but real motivation comes from within.

The secret of being happy is to listen to your inner voice and respect that. Inversely, the recipe of unhappiness is to ignore these signals (that are often quiet, subtle and easy to miss) and act according to the outer world’s expectations of success. 

The thing is: Your inner voice is heard clearly when you are at peace, not when you are in an anxious and analytical state. 

7/366

The journey of building a good life is fraught with road blocks, failures and seemingly long roads that take you nowhere. 

When you encounter any of these, which you definitely will, remember: You can always RESTART.

When a computer system got slow, our IT team would always ask us to restart it. That often solved the problem. Restarting works as well for humans as for machines.

I had to take a pause during my most formative years when I struggled to find what I really wanted to do. Pausing and thinking about what I really wanted to do enabled me to choose a career in information technology. Two years into it, I was laid off due to recession. I was forced to restart the journey and initiate my own business. After few years in business, I decided to gain corporate exposure and that meant restarting into an entry level job and strive to move up the corporate ladder. I worked my way up by taking up diverse and global roles, many of which included doing things that I had NEVER done before. These restarts were supported by bosses and teams I worked with. When I reached the corporate peak leading 680+ people, I had a lot of comfort which was discomforting. Life priorities and lack of challenges led me to restart again and start my own consulting business – this time with 22+ years of experience and diverse skills under my belt. I am pretty sure I will continue this journey of restarting in future as well.

Restarting is not about erasing the past; it means learning from it to create a better future.

Life, after all, is a journey of never-ending new beginnings. In fact, doing things that you have never done before is how we grow and evolve. Seth Godin asks a very pretinent question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

Restarting is not easy. It requires you to:

• Be self-aware about your intrinsic skills, needs and desires
• Take a pause and think through the inventory of what you have, what you want to do with what you have and what difference you wish to make in the world.
• Give up on the fear of failure to embrace the unknown
• Be comfortable with the ambiguity and uncertainty that comes with working in new domains and with new people solving new kinds of problems
• Unlearn and let go of your preconceived beliefs about how things should work
• Learn at the speed of change, be adaptable and respond to changing and challenging situations with agility
• Give up on your need to be on a stable ground and be willing to step into uncharted territories (which might include moving places, mindset and industries)
• Let go of your ego, and the need to be seen by others as successful
• Ask for help from others when needed to accomplish what you have set out for
• Build a network and be a part of newer communities around your interests
• Take regular pauses to reflect and put your learning from last step into the next one

 Being able to restart is a super power in an uncertain world. It is almost like setting the dried weeds on fire so that you can uncover the fertile ground rich with possibilities and untapped potential.  

6/366

The famous violinist Nathan Milstein wrote: “Practice as much as you feel you can accomplish with concentration. Once when I became concerned because others around me practiced all day long, I asked [my mentor] Professor Auer how many hours I should practice, and he said, ‘It really doesn’t matter how long. If you practice with your fingers, no amount is enough. If you practice with your head, two hours is plenty.’”

“How much” you do is almost never as important as “how well” you do it. 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different outcomes.” – Einstein

5/366

Writing a blog for over 16 years is a deliberate practice. 

Working out several times a week is deliberate practice.

Creating sketchnotes consistently for 8+ years is a deliberate practice.

Keeping track of my financials with a goal to be debt free was a deliberate practice.

Before we delve into the mechanics of deliberate practice, consider this recent example:

In May of 2023, I hit a wall. I had elevated blood sugar level. My dad’s by-pass surgery and growing a new business added to my stress and anxiety. I had to do something about it.

I broke my need to improve health into a few areas:

1. Stop the damage through medicines and immediate lifestyle changes
2. Join a Diabetes reversal program that came with nutritional guidance, medical guidance and a continuous glucose monitor attached to my bloodstream.
3. Getting a gym membership
4. Committing to better sleep schedule (which in turn would manage stress as well)

These were the first steps, but I needed to be consistent at following the lifestyle changes in the weeks/months to come.

Deliberate practice is about being disciplined and intentional. I got a few sheets of paper, drew columns and started tracking a few essentials:

• Diet intake (simple pen and paper journal of eating pattern that was required for CGM)
• Exercise (day wise exercise minutes,  active calories burn, workout type etc). My Apple watch measured it all, but the act of writing the vitals elevated my consciousness. 
• Sleep (sleep timing, restful sleep, sleeping heart rate etc)

Writing these simple things on a piece of paper became my end-of-the-day ritual that kept me focused and conscious.

Knowing I missed a few days at gym encouraged me to go. Seeing myself going off track with diet brought me back to being disciplined. I avoided taking late night work calls so that I could sleep on time. All this because I was accountable to a piece of paper. I was able to notice the patterns and course-correct my actions accordingly. 

CGM was taken off in two weeks but this practice of writing and journaling continued for three months. These actions, that seemed to weigh me down initially, started becoming a habit. Any significant improvement will always come with some degree of discomfort initially. In fact, you have to step out of your comfort zone if you want to learn anything new. 

When habits are formed (i.e. acting without being conscious about it), you no longer need to write. Moreover, jounaling could be something as simple as a checklist of activities/behaviors that you can tick off at the end each day.

“Whatever you pay attention to develops.”

The process worked. My blood sugar markers returned to normal and medicines were gradually reduced and then stopped. 

Deliberate practice is deliberating (thinking) on our practices (behaviours/actions) with focus on improvement. High-performing atheletes/professionals do this all the time. High-performing organizations measure right things. We should be no different. 

It is about being intentional and systematic about improvement through:

• Breaking down the overall process into parts
• Knowing what needs improvement within those parts
• Creating a system (including coaching if required) to track improvement and be accountable  
• Active and conscious pursuit of improvement through right actions
• Jounaling/measuring to see the progress, notice behavioral patterns and building accountability to yourself
• Aligning your actions based on feedback from metrics, patterns and what you learn from it.
• Repeating and improving until repetitive behavior becomes a habit.

If you want to raise your consciousness about anything you wish to improve upon, try practicing it deliberately. It works!

4/366

As a kid, I once compared my belongings with that of my richer friends. When I once complained about it, my mom took me to the balcony to guide my attention to a construction site nearby. The kids of labourers barely had clothes on their bodies but were happily playing in the heap of sand. A lesson for the lifetime was learned – that I can never be happy if I am not grateful about the blessings I already have. What we have today may be a dream for someone else.

Love the following quote from American author Melody Beattie,

Why wait for a new year to commit to being your better self and set goals/resolutions.

Dividing time into years and months is a construct created by us humans.

Remember: You can reinvent yourself any time you decide to. If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it now.